Haven't been able to maintain an internet connection for long enough to make a post.

Yesterday was the anneversary of the Kent State shootings. In memoratum, I was going to play "Four Dead in Ohio," but decided that my rendition wasn't yet up to snuff. I'll mess around with a lot of songs, but that one needs to be done right.

I've finally gotten hold of my lines for Medea. Given there aren't many of them, but the ones I had weren't getting any traction in my mind until the other day, when I stepped up to the stage at rehearsal thinking that I didn't know them, and delivering them nonetheless. I've got to tell you, that's a terrific feeling.

So after the rehearsal I got on the subway and went back to my hometown with Keith, a fellow thespian. We stopped into the local comic book shop, where there was a croud of vaguely familiar looking females. Luckily, they didn't know who I was and thus awkwardness was avoided. He introduced me, and there was sobbing. One of the girls was now sitting on the floor leaning against the counter, in tears. I searched my memory. No, there was nothing I'd done to provoke this reaction.

Through her sobs it came out that someone named Patrick had broken her heart in high school. She furthermore demanded that I say I was gay. I responded that If I was to be gay every time someone wanted me to be then I'd be a total slut. She continued to sob, and made note of the fact that this other Patrick was also not gay, and that he also wore his hair in a ponytail, which amounted to three things I shared with this guy. I was beginning to realize why he left her, and I promptly followed his example, saying a quick goodbye to my friend.

I swear one of these days I'm going to figure out what the fuck it is that draws these nutcases to me.

Also I guess today was no pants day. I always miss these things.

My smallest brother turned 11 on Monday. Forgot to mention it here. Was going to mention it on Cooper's May Day thing but I got caught up quoting Led Zepplin and then there were references to spring lust and well you know how that goes. My gift to him was this:



The Nerf AB4 "Reactor." Pump action. Fires foam balls at a decent rate of fire, and those things kill if they say, hit you in the ear from close range.

of course, I knew that as soon as I armed the kid he'd thank me for perhaps a moment before turning his gun on me. So I came to the table armed as well, with my weapon of choice:
The MR6 "Maverick" A six-shooter, which delivers the Nerf microdart ammo quite literally as fast as you can cock it and fire it. This piece of plastic was not designed for the child on the box, who clumsily held it between two hands. That photo was a lie. I am utterly convinced that it was designed so that one such as myself could hold it, which is more than I can say for a number of devices up to and including just about any game controller. It combines two of the coolest things that are done with guns on film; the barrel twirl and the pullback cocking.

Needless to say, fun times were had, and the lad was taught a lesson

There is, in fact, a large Nerf following online. There are many my age who collect and modify Nerf weapons and give detailled instructions as to how. Penny Arcade did a comic a while back in regards to Nerf warfare, and I didn't stop laughing for a long while.

Had rehearsal for Medea today. Only problem I have with it is the performance by the male lead. Of course it may be that I'm inclined to have a problem with it seeing as I was up for the part as well, but whatever. For some reason, my lines haven't been sticking in my head. It's kinda weird. Shakespeare always sticks with me, but translations of Greek plays, however poetic they may be, tend to slide. Of course, I have several problems with the premise of the play. When asked for comment, Euripides creaked a bit and didn't give a damn.

I loved Boston Legal tonight. Pia quoted it in her latest, which is great even for a Pia entry. The scene containing that quote got me to thinking. In our lives it is inevitable that we become role models for someone. Coming from a large extended family I am thus to several. Which means a constant balancing act between keeping true to one's self and, well, being a good example. Err one way and you're a bad example, another and you're a hypocrite. Or at least that's the feeling I get. So far I've been able to present a side of me that's both honest and wholesome in the ways that matter to the chilluns around me, I think. I'm good with kids.

I've also been keeping up with Doctor Who, which I'm dying to go in depth about but I doubt anyone's interested. If you can get your hands on any episodes from the new series I wholly encourage you to watch them, as they're fantastic. This last one was especially brilliant

Well, it's late. Not that it's a problem for me, but there seems to be no one else around so I'll catch youse all later.

(Originally posted at Absurdity Jam, which I've just now decided to let die, unless something comes up to convince me otherwise)

The internet has informed of of countless bizarre and interesting facts and concepts. In the realm of online obscenity, part of this phenomenom is known as Webcest, which is defined by The Urban Dictionary as "Any sort of fetish learned about, expanded upon, or performed on the internet." Jeffery Rowland, who defined the term, has this to say on the subject :

Webcest is that special feelin' you get when you're makin' love to your old lady and you're both dressed like giraffes! Webcest is when you find dirty pictures of your ex-girlfriend on the internet and you print them out for later.Webcest is when you discover a forum dedicated to people who are turned on by x ray photographs and you consider digging through your medical records to see what kind of attention your skeleton could generate.

But these new discoveries aren't limited to sexual depravity. Sometimes other, more ominous things (yes, more ominous than people fucking dressed as giraffes) are discovered. Like a centuries-old blood war, such as exists between Pirates and Ninjas. The phenomenon did emerge in the 1982 movie musical, Pirate Movie, wherein pirates and ninjas clashed upon a pirate ship, but that was at the time seen as a lone incedent. But intensive research and a number of Google searches now conclusively prove the existance of a conflict between the two, as old as both groups have existed. And it continues today, as even at MIT it is rumored that a Bachelors degree in piracy is available to one who takes the following PE courses: sailing, rowing, pistol, fencing, and ropes. A Bachelors in ninjitsu is also rumored, supposedly gained by entering the Great Dome and pressing Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start. The hardest part in this, it seems, is interfacing an old NES controller with a building. However, if anyone's able to accomplish this I have no doubts they went to MIT.

Ever since this age-old conflict was discovered the battle lines have been drawn on the internet, with little in the way of middle ground. Ninja Pirates and Pirate Ninjas have been rumored, but as such would require a ninja to go against everything he's ever stood for, or alternately for a pirate to be accepted into a dojo, they lie in doubt.

So what is it for those of us who think that pirates and ninjas are both awesome? What if one likes sudden deadly strikes out of the shadows and prolonged and at times humorous swashbuckling. What if one has at times celebrated Talk Like a Pirate Day and at others worn a t-shirt like a ninja mask? Must we choose one?

I personally love the katana and the sabre. The flintlock pistol and the shuriken. The roar of the cannons and the silence of the shadows.

And let's talk sex appeal (in this space it would certainly be remiss not to). Pirate Wenches? hot. So hot. We're talking sexy on a metaphysical level. And that's even the ones who aren't wearing super-revealing getups. And speaking as a heterosexual male, I submit that the hotness of Captain Jack Sparrow has universal appeal.

But then again, ninja girls are hot too. But not as notoriously. And while a female pirate is automatically incredibly hot, there is a lot of variance with girl ninjas; some of them merely look to be wearing tight-fitting burkhas. However, their extensive martial arts training must be taken into acount as they are no doubt all manner of flexible.

I'm torn up inside. I really am. I have, at various times, taken up the manner of each. I worked stage crew for the plays I didn't act in in school. Which at my school meant dressed all in black and most of us wore the mask. And I'm an enthusiastic net pirate. Entire television series reside within my hard drive, as well as a ton of music.

The bottom line is, it seems, that ninjas kick more ass, due to the intensive training, but pirates rock harder, due to the rum and the prediliction for "booty".

It's one of those questions that people use to define you. The webquiz/personality profile implications are staggering, and I lack definition enough as it is. If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to elaborate on my choice of X versus Y on those goddamned things I'd have a decent chunk of change. And this is one of the few cases where such a preference indicates supporting one side or another in a war.

Aw fuck it. Let them both hunt me down. It won't make me enjoy talking like a pirate, or in a poorly dubbed japanese action movie voice, any less. I love swords of all kinds. Eyepatches and black masks. Sailing and grappling hooks. And hot, hot girls who kick ass. And rum and booty. And vengeance and stealth. I'll sooner believe in a nebulous entity such as the ninja pirate and by so doing attract the label of a heretic than sacrifice any of this.

Yarg *vanishes*

UPDATE: I'm just realizing now that I never told you what that title was from. Cowgirl was right. It was from Pink Floyd. In the album version of Wish You Were Here, at the beginning there is a radio clip from what was either a radio play or an interview. In any case, there was a man and a woman's voice, and one of the things that the woman said was, "this star nonsense; what do you make of it?" So yeah. Props to Cowgirl though

Somehow, this wasn't much covered in the mass media. Which is odd, because it was goddamned hilarious, and after all, isn't the media supposed to have a liberal bias?

Also I found this over at the Pixie's place, which I found through Cowgirl. Apparently there's a bit of a capacity for brand confusion, but I doubt any which will represent me in any light that I take particular objection to. Also Cooper is back from DC, Pia has written yet another thing that I love, and Shayna invites us to relive her roadtrip with her.