The Super Soaker company has done something awful

Because apparently the sexual innuendo already in existence for those things wasn't enough. It needed to be spelled out, I guess.

Maybe the R&D people over there were pondering all the gross toys kids liked and concluded that toy manufacturers weren't trying hard enough

Maybe one of the guys was watching porn on company time and created this as a means to prove that it really was for "research purposes" like he said it was when he got caught.

I suspect that in the next year there will come a bigger model (pun oh so very much intended) and the kids who buy that one will brag about it and make fun of the kids with the smaller ones.

Boys who under-pump before firing and only emit a small spurt will be consoled by their target. "Oh that's ok... that happens to a lot of boys"

What's next? we've seen dolls that wet themselves. Maybe a Barbie that bleeds once a month? A Paris Hilton doll that reveals telltale stains when you put it in hot water?

Why oh why oh why are they selling kids a bukkake toy?


  1. A Barbie that bleeds once a month?

    That is a great line. The problem is girls outgrow Barbie's by age 3, however this one..

  2. This seriously cracked me up.

  3. That kind of Barbie would have freaked me out... but I was never a fan of Barbie. I used to cut her hair and disfigure her with my bad cuts so I was never bought any more...


    ... where was I going with this? ;-)

    Yeah, cracked me up too!

  4. oh sweet lord. this is too funny. maybe the new BLEEDING BLONDE BARBIE will teach the kiddies how to put in a fresh tampon? tampons sold separately.

  5. Why did I know you were going to post about this?

    Never liked Barbies.

  6. Pia: Glad you liked it.

    Cooper: ^_^

    Miz B: I still have to think that I'd be more freaked out to be taken by surprize by this "bio-ooze"

    Transience: I guess that would be a much more useful lesson than this one on how exactly it is you should hold yourself when someone hits you with a cumshot.

    Cowgirl: I guess I'm just predictable like that. Sorry I tipped my hand