So yeah, that introspective thingus I said I might write? I've decided against it. I'm just summing it up in that I do not function well alone, and that being the sort of person I am causes me to be alone. There's more too it, and fleshing it out even that much has given me second thoughts about even posting this, so I'm not going to go into it. The point is I'm in a rut, and I'm not quite sure when it began, because being in a rut is a familiar thing to me.

Moving on.

I don't know how many of you click on any of the links I have, but Questionable Content has been especially resonant in its past few strips. Well, resonant for me at least.

There is a new version of Firefox out. Get it. It is good. More support for higher web standards means that the more people get it, the better the web ends up being.

Ok, I think it's about time I wrote something large here, so just let me collect myself for a second.

*switches music from metal a la System of a Down to blues-ish rock a la Blues Traveler*

Ahem.

I am going to talk about ad trucks. For those of you unaware, ad trucks are tractor-trailers that are paid to drive around big cities with ads in tow. They carry no goods. They serve no purpose other than to try and get us to buy shit we don't need. So far, they've been mostly prevalent in Canada; Toronto and Montreal being the most infested. However, Ikea, to drop a name, has marketed in that fashion over here.

Fucking Ikea.

I'm trying to think of a worse form of advertizing. Maybe if there were achers hiding in back alleys tagging pedestrians with arrows that had flyers tied to them. My conclusion for now (yes that's slightly contradictory but get over it) is that there is no legal way to piss me off more with your advertizing than to put it on a fucking truck. Then again those fuckers are inventive. They'll probably find a way. And the fucked up thing is that if I carved their ruttin' intestines out, I'd go to jail.

Why am I so pissed off? There are a multitude of reasons. In no particular order:

It is getting to the point where you cannot turn your head without seeing an ad. They take up about a third of the airtime on television, during which the VOLUME IS FUCKING AMPLIFIED. You need to install special software to keep web ads from destroying your hard drive and tracking your use of the internet. Your email; your snailmail: full of them. And that's just at home. Commercials have weaseled their way into the cinemas. I don't know about other cities, but in Boston, companies rent out entire subway stations of adspace. I could provide an exhaustive list of places where ads are and they shouldn't be, but I'll save myself the embolism. The point is, we do not need more ads in our lives. These trucks intensify the already annoying corporate nature of our cities.

These trucks do not serve a constructive purpose, and yet their rank inefficiency drives up the demand (and thus the price) of gas. In a point in time where bills like the Clear Skies Act serve to lessen the restrictions on pollution control, these heavily-polluting vehicles are yet another blow against the efforts to curb global warming and improve air quality.

These trucks are ugly. I don't need to elaborate there.

Speaking as a native of Boston (well, a suburb to the north of it if you must), which is one of the most difficult cities in the nation to navigate in a car, I can say that the extra congestion is most certainly not welcome. To quote Ryan North, "the time lost stuck behind an ad truck can be directly traced to some jerk who thought that his message was more important than minutes from your life."

These fucking things make people's lives both subjectively and quantifiably worse in the pursuit of commercial gain. If I ever meet the guy who came up with this idea I will punch him in the face. If I see one of these trucks parked I will seriously consider slashing the tires.

Luckily, some people are out there fighting the good fight on a legal level. If that doesn't work though, I say that working at other levels is perfectly justified, in a style fusing the better parts of Tyler Durden and Hunter S. Thompson. Just try and tell me that wouldn't be totally fucking badass.

I love reading about Jack Thompson getting shot down. This time around, his Alabama license was revoked. He had some harsh words for the judge that did so, and naturally he had a response.

Also, a 2004 study at Harvard showed that fileswapping's overall impact on record sales is "statistically indistinguishable from zero." However, it has been shown to increase sales for obscure bands.

More to the point, the recording industry's efforts to curb fileswapping are beginning to have a negative impact on sales.

For my part, this can be summed up easily by saying, "Fuck you, RIAA. FUCK YOU"

There was a bit of a self-reflective thing I was going to write but for the moment I'm thinking better of it. I think I'm going to sit on it until it stops seeming like something that Dashboard Confessionals would write a song about.

Once again a reminder that Pandora is totally awesome and you should check it out.

Today I discovered that I like Alice in Chains, Machinehead, and Scorpions.

Tetris must be all kinds of aggrivating to someone with OCD.

and because I have absolutely nothing else to say at the moment and I feel like giving myself another spike in Google searches, and also because this song is awesome, some Nirvana lyrics.

She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
I've been locked inside your Heart-Shaped box for weeks
I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black


Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice

....your advice

Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet
Cut myself on Angel Hair and baby's breath
Broken Hymen of your highness I'm left black
Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice

...Your advice

She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak
I've been locked inside your Heart-Shaped box for weeks
I've been drawn into your magnet tar-pit trap
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black

Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice
Hey!
Wait!
I've got a new complaint
Forever in debt to your priceless advice

Morning came uninvited as usual. Not that the day itself was unwelcome, but when you are a creature of the night as I am, morning is always a kick in the pants. I forced down two cups of nigh-undrinkable freeze-dryed coffee, made tolerable with the addition of SwissMiss.

A former fowl was placed in a metal box, raised in temperature by combustible gas. My consciousness grew to a more palpable level as it did its work upon the deceased bird, as well as other foodstuffs, all of which I tended intermittently. Time passed. Heat became to emanate from the box, taking the bite out of the late autumn morning as the thermostat either had failed to perform its task, else was sabotaged in the name of thrift.

After a brief period of more pronounced activity, a meal was served and consumed, the substance of it most enjoyable.

Sleep came soon after, followed by being shaken awake to attend a gathering.

Good people there.

All in all, a good Thanksgiving.

The day after wasn't too hot. I had to work 7 hours at Sam Goody. Not many people came, so I had some time alone with my mind. Basically I was wondering just in what way prostitution is less morally acceptable than asking people if they want to reserve a 50 Cent cd.

Am considering a change of occupation.

To the matter of Wal Mart, I will just say that I have a strong desire to camp out next year with a Hattorai Hanzo sword and deal swift justice to any cretin who would trample another human being for the privelage to buy something

Wal Mart is why they fly airplanes into our buildings. And a pre-emptive "fuck you" to anyone itching to take me to task about saying that.

Oh yeah. Today I ran into an old friend of mine at the mall. He was working at a kiosk with some Scientologists offering stress tests and peddling L Ron Hubbard's books. It amazes me that I didn't say anything to him about how fucking stupid he is.

This is going to be rather brief because it's late and I need to get up early tomorrow to get things started. That's right ladies, the dude can cook.

Last year, in Chicago, I cooked my own turkey. My original plan was to find friends who couldn't make it home and invite them over, but apparently all my friends' parents loved them and got them home for Thanksgiving.

But I was damned if I was going to go without turkey on Thanksgiving, so I got one anyways. Problem was, I had a shitty oven, and it took 11 gorram hours to cook.

I can trust this oven. That is good.

As Alice said, there is a pretty goddamned long list of things that just about everyone is thankful for, and this is (by intents but as it seems not necessarily in excecution) a short post, so I'm going to follow her example and let all of the ones that you'd expect be taken as read. I will say this. I'm thankful that I'm home for Thanksgiving even though shitty circumstances that caused it were shitty to say the least. And I'm thankful for you. All of you who read what I write, and who write things I enjoy reading. Its damned good to be doing this.

Ok, I'm really going to go now. I might post tomorrow if I have anything worth saying to say or if I feel like it.

Happy Thanksgiving, all. Eat drink, and be merry. I demand it of you.

The reason that I was unavailable for webborne contact the other night had to do with my visiting a friend at an institution of higher learning. The event that motivated me to do this was an improv murder mystery in which he played a part.

For those unfamiliar with the medium, a murder mystery unfolds in a mock party at which both the audience and actors are present. The production is presented as a series of scenes punctuated by extended periods during which the audience and cast interacted. It is common, in this medium, for conversations to be struck up with the characters. And in many ways you make your own entertainment, because wit begets wit. As an actor and an improviser I understand that, and thus had a hell of a lot of fun. Which brings me to what is uncommon. One of the characters was a green absinthe fairy. A sexy green absinthe fairy. Who pulled off her (admittedly limited) role in a manner most commendable. We conversed a lot (I guess she found me easy to bounce off of) And for the last portion of the performance, she was on my arm.

And yes, that is exactly as hot as it sounds.

And no, I didn't imagine her. She was portrayed by a real, sexy, awesome female.

My friend told me afterwards that she was seeing someone.

Burnsauce.

Still, though...

This site will take the name of an artist you like and make an entire netradio station filled with songs you're likely to enjoy because they share similar qualities. I could spend hours with this thing. It's thus far provided good results for me for The Mars Volta, Blues Traveler, and Foreigner. I could spend hours with this thing. In fact, I just might...

Also...

Wow. Just wow.

Does anyone else like Foreigner? I heard about them in an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and I got hooked. The reason I'm mentioning this is I have Urgent stuck in my head and I can't seem to think of much else. If I can, I'll be back.

Update: New post at Absurdity Jam. WARNING: highly blasphemeous and potentially offensive

So I found out that my hangout in Chicago has become the place for hookups this year. I guess everyone there is getting down and/or funky.

Typical. I leave Boston for a year, and the Sox win the Series. I'm back for a year, and my coffee shop has become even more awesome.

Meanwhile, there are few things less sexy than a doctor's appointment on a cold, rainy day.

Am seriously considering a long bus ride.

Ok, so I'm now no longer the only one to post on Absurdity Jam.

I need your opinions. Part of what made the concept for the site so appealing in my head is that contributers can add to, expand, or respond to others' posts on the mainpage, like I just did with Alice's post. However, there lies the trouble of making it all noticeable. I think that it makes sense to put response posts below the original post on the given topic, but there is a tradeoff in that one is less likely to notice that something was added. Does it work the way it is?

And yes, this is an effort to get you all to read what gets put up over there.

So... Neil Simon's Odd Couple.

So far as comedic playwriting is concerned, his work is considered tops. For my part, it can get extremely tedious. Which isn't to say that he doesn't Bring the Funny, its just that there isn't very much about his humor that is unique, and his scenes and plays often last longer than they aught to

Many scenes in The Odd Couple overstay their welcome. There were parts where I wanted to shout, "We get it already! Oscar is a slob and a loudmouth, and Felix is neurotic and obsessive compulsive!"

As far as characters go, I will say that Oscar is exceedingly well written.

Two-thirds of the supporting cast is well written, and the other third might as well not have been there at all

Felix as a character is about as well-written as Garfeild.

But I knew, for the most part, what to expect of the script. I went there for the actors.

Oscar was brilliant. His delivery, his timing, his energy, everything was right on the button. And at the curtain call, he did something worthy of more applause still. During the play, he was wearing a Yankees cap, as it takes place in New York. At the curtain call, he threw it to the floor and put on a Red Sox cap.

Felix sucked. He yelled when he shouldn't have, his breakdowns weren't believeable at all, and he was monotonous for most of the play. That being said, It is at the very least a possibility that none of this was the actor's fault. In the case of every performance piece in which there is a director, the director bears at least some culpability, because he's the one saying "go with that." And judging by how the rest of the play was directed (and yes, I'll admit, how much I would like to slap the director with a glove), I wouldn't hesitate to put the blame there. Also, the part is, as I've mentioned, poorly written. Felix really doesn't work as a human character. He just doesn't fit into any semblance of the real world. It should be noted, however, that where Neil Simon failed, Jim Henson succeeded. Bert and Ernie, who are based on the Odd Couple, do fit into their world because their world is one in which a 7-foot canary exists.

My friends Jimmy and Seamus were in the supporting cast. They are fantastic character actors, and continued to earn their reputations. I really can't put it better than that.

Now, the direction... I've noted where El Diablo may have failed with Felix, but that is hardly a certainty. What is certain is that this man just has no fucking clue how to present a play to an audience. The blocking was obstructive, and he had his actors talking upstage. The first thing you learn in any kind of theater education, even at an elementary level, is that you always, ALWAYS project towards the audience, with the rare exception in which you're shouting (and even then you still usually play it as much towards the audience as possible) Furthermore, he clearly did nothing to ensure that his actors projected at all in any direction. As I said before, if you are a director, you are responsible for getting those on stage to get their shit together. This guy didn't do it at all.

That having been said, I did enjoy the play for the most part. What I enjoyed even more was getting together with some friends I hadn't seen in a while.

I've been in a bit of a rut for the past few months. A sizeable part of it is that I haven't been around my sort of people. They're the people with whom I can most truly be myself, and it's always an enormous comfort to be around them. Last night would have been awesome even if the play was without any merit.

Saw a hell of a football game today; best high school game I've ever seen. Malden vs. Everett. I'm not too attatched to my hometown team-- I went to a Catholic school-- but it'd been a while since I'd seen live football. Close game all the way through. It ended with Malden converting two 4th downs in a row all the way down to the five yard line only to get picked off, ending the game at 18-22.

Damned fine game all the same.

Going back to my old high school tonight to see a couple of friends act in the first play there since the man who taught me a great deal of what I know about theater got fired. It is being directed by the man who fired him, and who does not yet know of my contempt for him. It could get interesting if he comes over to talk to me. If he does, I'll certainly bring up the fact that the rights to Neil Simon's "The Odd Couple" have been frozen.

Fucker.

That's all for now

Eric Burns wrote better than I could hope to about this day

I have been rather loud and reproachful about some of my country's actions in this space. That is because they are things that wound me at my very core. I am proud to be an American, and I take that which I percieve to besmirch my country's honor as a personal insult. But that is not what today is about.

My great- grandfather; my namesake, fought in World War I almost immedeately after becoming a US citizen.

My grandfather was a Seabee in World War II, building airfields in enemy territory.

Both men returned alive.

When my grandfather died five years ago, a Naval officer was present at the cemetary. A United States flag was draped over his casket, as is the case for all who have served honorably in a time of war. Before the casket was lowered, two servicemen took the flag, folded it, and handed it to the officer. He presented it to my grandmother and said:

On behalf of the President of the United States and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one's service to this Country and its Navy.

two million, seven hundred and fifty seven thousand, one hundred and ninety six servicemen and women have been listed missing, killed and wounded as a result of service. The actual number is far greater.

It is on this day that we remember them, as well as those who fought and lived.

And on this day we remember, regardless of our convictions, that we are grateful

Went to Lexington to get X-rays done. My leg and heels had been hurting like hell after playing basketball on it. Turned up negative for stress fractures, which is good, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I guess I'll start playing again, though. I need the exercise.

That is all, I guess

Absurdity Jam!

More later

Kansas has approved Intelligent Design.

My cousins used to live in Kansas. Luckily for them they moved to Minnesota last year.

This is getting out of hand, and there is no sign yet of a way to stop it

Ironically, the fact that these people who are voting in favor of this measure are capable of reproduction is a better arguement against Darwinism than anyone in all this has made.

Then again, it's also a solid arguement against Intelligent Design (not that there need be any more of those).

Every once in a while, the Onion is still funny.

So Saddam's defense lawyers are getting gunned down. More evidence that we're pretty far from having that country under control. Not that we needed it. The question must be asked: Is having this trial worth a single other death? I submit that it is not. And I understand the importance of a fair trial, but stepping into the courtroom would be like it was to walk in to see Titanic about seven years back. Everyone knows the ending, and I want my goddamned eight bucks back.

Its not that I don't want the trial to happen. I do. But it obviously cannot take place inside Iraq in its current state. Defense lawyers have asked that he be moved to a neutral country, but I seriously doubt that he could be moved without incident. This is an utterly worthless man. To risk lives on his behalf is folly.

Delay the trial as long as it takes. It's just not worth it to do it now.

as Saije pointed out (for context look two posts down and at the comments. Actually I wonder if anyone saw the last thing I said there because I think I might have been slightly misunderstood and I'm also a bit too tired and lazy to repost) there are more questions concerning Alito; more things we should be wary of when the next judge comes around. And I agree. That having been said, I think I know enough about this guy to know that I do not wish for him to be serving on the Supreme Court. I guess if I learned more I could strengthen my arguement, but I have been severely doubting the effect that my having a solid arguement has on political discourse on any scale.

Then again, it's not like I have much else to do with my time.

Mickerdoo posted a joke in his blog that is funny and I think you should check out

Also, the Patriots lost to the Colts and I am NOT cool with that.

I've gotten myself listed on Blog Explosion. It deems my site to contain "partial profanity." I wonder if that means I'm slipping...

Linkage: Girl on the Blog provides quality words at a reasonable price.

If humor derived from obscure US History references are more your game, check out Eric Burns' Adventures of Brigadier General John Stark.

Both contain signifigant amounts of fascinating things.

once again I thought I had more to say.

You know the drill. In an ideal world, I would be able simply to look at someone like Judge Alito and say, "hey, fuck that guy," and be done with it.

Sadly such is not the case, and I don't really know what I can say about this that I or someone (much) more respectable hasn't already said.

Just because a man is intelligent does not make him incapable of holding stupid opinions. And let's be frank. There is a fallacy in much of todays society that all opinions are equal. It is quite simply not true. Some opinions are, as Douglas Adams would say, "A very great more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others."

It has been said that there is a set of voters who share his views and that they deserve representation. They have representation, in the House of Representatives. They do not, however, have the right to hold their views as a standard over others.

The Christian Coalition is cheering. Every sensible person should think twice when that happens.

Alito will vote in favor of Intelligent Design
He will vote to uphold bans on stem cell research
He will vote to uphold a ban on same sex marriage

He may strike down Roe v Wade.

Let me qualify my opposition there, as my pro-choice stance is not the same as others.

I believe that abortion should be a last resort. I am also flatly opposed to abortion of late-term pregnancy unless it is absolutely necessary. So far as I can see it, if we mark the end of life at the stop of the heartbeat, we ought to mark the beginning of life at the start of the heartbeat. Of course, I am hardly a doctor, and my information here is hardly comprehensive. Just my thought, though I would claim it to be supported by logic.

And there's the rub. Roe v Wade defined it as conception. It said in no uncertain terms that abortion constituted ending a life. It therefore made any limitations on the termination of actually living fetuses unsupportable.

It should be noted that overturning the decision wouldn't affect a ban on abortions, rather it would allow states to ban them. But as Alice notes, that would just be a clusterfuck. If you would challenge the morality of abortion, I completely understand that sentiment. It is my opinion that you should direct your efforts towards convincing people (in a sympathetic way; judge not lest ye be judged, bitches) not to have abortions as opposed to convincing our government to ban them.

I admit that I could be wrong, though the way I see it that's what makes my arguement stronger.

So I arrived at work today in a black t-shirt and khakis as per orders. Upon arrival I was presented with a sky blue shirt and the instruction, "put the goddamned shirt on." As I proceeded to comply I noticed a snowman on the back of it. Christmas apparently begins immedeately after Halloween now. I guess they're trying to build the pressure on slouches like me so that we get even more neurotic as crunch time and buy excessive amounts of merchandise on Christmas Eve.

But I have foiled their plan by having no money!

I looked at the preorder list at Sam Goody, and Serenity is already on it. Comes out on DVD come January. I'm torn. On the one hand, I'll get to see it sooner. On the other, an early DVD release casts a shadow on the hopes of a sequel.

That is all for the moment. There may be more soon, but don't make any bets.

It has been proposed that whenever one uses the phrase batshit insane on the web, they link it to Jack Thompson's wikipedia entry. The hope here is that eventually the phrase will be linked to google searches on his name, and vice versa.

I am behind this 100%

It should also be noted that this need not be used in an insulting manner. What phrase would you like accociated with your name?

I don't have much to say at the moment, so.... LYRICS!!!

You walk into the room
With your pencil in your hand
You see somebody naked
And you say, "Who is that man?"
You try so hard
But you don't understand
Just what you'll say
When you get home

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You raise up your head
And you ask, "Is this where it is?"
And somebody points to you and says
"It's his"
And you say, "What's mine?"
And somebody else says, "Where what is?"
And you say, "Oh my God
Am I here all alone?"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You hand in your ticket
And you go watch the geek
Who immediately walks up to you
When he hears you speak
And says, "How does it feel
To be such a freak?"
And you say, "Impossible"
As he hands you a bone

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

You have many contacts
Among the lumberjacks
To get you facts
When someone attacks your imagination
But nobody has any respect
Anyway they already expect you
To just give a check
To tax-deductible charity organizations

You've been with the professors
And they've all liked your looks
With great lawyers you have
Discussed lepers and crooks
You've been through all of
F. Scott Fitzgerald's books
You're very well read
It's well known

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Well, the sword swallower, he comes up to you
And then he kneels
He crosses himself
And then he clicks his high heels
And without further notice
He asks you how it feels
And he says, "Here is your throat back
Thanks for the loan"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Now you see this one-eyed midget
Shouting the word "NOW"
And you say, "For what reason?"
And he says, "How?"
And you say, "What does this mean?"
And he screams back, "You're a cow
Give me some milk
Or else go home"

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Well, you walk into the room
Like a camel and then you frown
You put your eyes in your pocket
And your nose on the ground
There ought to be a law
Against you comin' around
You should be made
To wear earphones

Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones?

Caught Boston Legal tonight. The sister of a slain National Guardsman sues the US Army for fraud liability in the course of his recruitment. He'd signed on for a one year tour as a medic, and as a result of circumstances in Iraq his responsibility was extended 26 years and duty as an MP, for which he was untrained, and during the course of which he died.

I do not know if the situation described in the show was realistic. It sounds in line with Bush administration military policy, but I have neither done the research nor come across such knowledge in news media (I'll get to that)

If such is true, then the conservative axiom that to support the continuation of the war effort in Iraq is to honor our troops is a blatant falsehood, and if one were to look at both sides of the issue, easily the better case for treason, which is as we all know the charge levelled at whomever speaks out against the war.

It is true. We are at war. Things arise. But the means with which we pursue war, both at home in the hearts and minds of our citizens and abroad on the battlefeild, is what separates us from our enemies. Or is what should separate us. Instead of honoring our soldiers by protecting the sanctity of their deaths, we should honor them by not allowing them to be put in harms way unless it is absolutely necessary. When a soldier enlists, he pledges his life and his sacred honor to the protection of the United States. We as a nation have proven ourselves unworthy of such sacrifice by allowing our men and women in uniform to be sent to that hell that is the Iraq war under a false pretense and poor management, and furthermore by choosing to ignore their suffering. The outcry has not been there, and that is perhaps the greatest failing.

But it has become hard to be well-informed about this war. To put it bluntly, few others than those already against it are coming across the sorts of facts like the story mentioned above (assuming for the point of arguement that it's true). Mass media has experienced a chill effect from the flag wavers who do not want to be wrong, and will employ slander to defend themselves if pushed. In short, the truth has in many cases been decried as a liberal conspiracy.

I have little patience for the politics of truth. Those who would distort it for personal or political gain are below my mention, and those who will speak it proudly despite the potential consequence are heroes.