Every now and again I come across something that I feel compelled to blog about but wonder if I would be at cross-purposes in doing so. When this occurs I test the case against the Ann Coulter Rule (I'm considering creating a lexicon page for terms like this). Simply put, the Ann Coulter Rule states that it is unacceptable to feed any sort of publicity to the douchebags and pigfuckers who make their name and their living by getting people pissed at them.
This one clearly falls under that header. The article in question states that Feminism is responsible for the demise of the "Real Man," which he defines with every bit as much wit as some lobotomized Richard Pryor wannabee talking about the difference between black people and white people (such routines normally predicated on the idea that the main difference lies in whether or not one respects women and his fellow man, or pays his bills on time.) Apparently, real men can't cook, don't show sentiment, and don't make any effort to understand women, as it's far better to merely appreciate their mystique and beauty. He leads by saying that he's going to be pissing off women. It's his selling point, whether or not he wants to admit it. I wonder if the irony that he accuses women of emasculating men while declaring non-assholes to not be "Real Men."
However, there's something he raises that I feel the need to touch on. The solution? I'm not linking him or quoting him. In fact I forget how to find the article at this point. Do I lose a bit of integrity, in the journalistic sense, by doing so? Perhaps. But I can make my point without him. And since my audience is in general comprised of people who seem to trust me (suckers), I feel that I can be forgiven if I cut him and his swollen balls out of the action.
It's true that the evolution of the modern emasculated male began with the advent of feminism. But if you blame your lack of identity on a woman fighting for fair wage, chances are you were never a real man to begin with. What happened is that while women changed to create a more just world for themselves, men only changed to still have a chance with women. Add to that the crushing effects of the Vietnam War and you get a good picture. This is what we have to blame for Sylvester Stallone. We all lost.
A year and change ago I remember writing my blog against sexism post and mentioning Masculism, which I hadn't known a thing about until then. And I wasn't alone in my ignorance. And it's easy to overlook when the only banner men seem to be uniting under in any numbers that doesn't directly involve beer, sports, or cars, is that of misogyny. By appearences it's the only game in town. And while not everyone, or even most, are playing, its what gets noticed. Hell, the only father's rights groups that get any ink are the ones that do stupid shit like scale buildings Spider-Man style or threaten to kidnap Tony Blair's son. Nice one, guys.
Worse, even among those who have heard of Masculism a lot have serious misconceptions about what it is. Even Cooper, who is (among other things that would be beyond the scope of this writing and were I to elaborate within it I would run the risk of seeming to be brown nosing or worse, compensating) exceptionally well-informed, thought at the time that I mentioned it that it was a movement whose aim is to reverse the tide of feminism.
Imagine what that means for the rest of the country, seeing how many signatures were gathered when some kid went around asking men and women to sign a petition to "end women's suffrage." Especially since--and this is no great secret--we are addicted to adversarialism in this country. Even those striving for equality use the word "diversity," which in itself implies splitting apart. It's still black versus white; gay versus straight; devout versus secular; men versus women. So why would someone with no other information do anything else but conclude that it's Masculism versus Feminism and then change the channel?
But don't get me wrong. I don't believe any great problems are going to be solved by a more widespread recognition of terms. Would I prefer it if men took a more active role in rectifying this collective identity crisis, and in advancing egalitarian principles? Of course. But that's still part of an outmoded view of the world.
So long as those who believe they serve the cause of equality work to advance only one set of interests, regardless of what sympathy they have for other causes, it will simply be a game of leapfrog; a contest. For true equality, there must be no Masculists, no Feminists, no Pro-Gay, no racial nationalism. There must be Progressives. Or whatever the fuck name, that's not important. It just needs to be catchy so that the drones who either don't posess their own judgement or don't exercise it will see it on TV and say, "me too." Otherwise, it's all just one big pissing contest, even if recent developments mean women can piss like men.
So if you've noticed, this post became about more than just the asshole I mentioned up top. Much of it has been kicking around in my head for some time, and a lot of it was fleshed out in a conversation with my friend Erin, who showed me the original article. And with a word back to the topic that began my rant, we were in particular agreement where the collective gender identity crisis was concerned. There is perhaps a fools hope that this will make it easier for our society to discard the fallacious notion of there being only two genders, but that may be too much to ask. All the more reason for unity. That which divides is murky at best. Race is ultimately the result of our ancestor's migration patterns and can't be identified genetically. Sexual orientation is fluid and nonabsolute. And even where religion is concerned, the common ground among all is love. All that poises to get in the way of that fundamental understanding can go fuck itself.
3.27.2007
Oops! I'm an addict
Not that that should come as much of a surprise. A lack of computing resources available over the weekend sort of fucked with me hard. Increased guitaring and rereading Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy helped but there are limits. I was locked into a serious jones. I'm not sure if I've yet recovered.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to check myself into a twelve step program, but I'm wondering if I'm inhibiting myself here. I've found a number of writers (here I'm referring to people I'm not in any direct contact with and thus have no influence on, i.e. non bloggers) who express many of the thoughts I've had but have utterly failed to transmit to the page. The sorts of glimpses of what you swore must have been brilliance when you woke up suddenly at 4 AM for a brief instant without a pen and paper near before nodding off again. Or the ones forever lost because no one thinks to run a voice recorder when they're out for a late night cup of coffee or getting stoned with their friends (hypothetically speaking)
In a sense I guess I feel I don't need to write them because I find them in the voices of others. Of course that's bullshit and I'm all too aware of it. But it's still an inhibitive. And I could keep writing on this subject but I doubt it would accomplish a single thing. So I'm going to try and grab at another thread because I do seem to be keyed into producing volume at the moment.
Allow me to apologize in advance if a sort of odd psychosis grips me in about a week. Baseball season, you see. I haven't played the sport in fucking years because apparently once you're out of high school you're supposed to want to play goddamn softball instead. Grr... But this is looking to be a good year to be a baseball fan in this city. And yes I'm aware of how many times that's been uttered idly here and been proven false. Oh, you didn't point that out at all, did you? Because you're not like me and not really into this and are pretty much just seeing where this line of thought goes (should I even be that fortunate)?
Right then.
I've run out of things to say, due to the late hour and a headache that won't shut up and also perhaps some rust from a weekend without. More later
Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to check myself into a twelve step program, but I'm wondering if I'm inhibiting myself here. I've found a number of writers (here I'm referring to people I'm not in any direct contact with and thus have no influence on, i.e. non bloggers) who express many of the thoughts I've had but have utterly failed to transmit to the page. The sorts of glimpses of what you swore must have been brilliance when you woke up suddenly at 4 AM for a brief instant without a pen and paper near before nodding off again. Or the ones forever lost because no one thinks to run a voice recorder when they're out for a late night cup of coffee or getting stoned with their friends (hypothetically speaking)
In a sense I guess I feel I don't need to write them because I find them in the voices of others. Of course that's bullshit and I'm all too aware of it. But it's still an inhibitive. And I could keep writing on this subject but I doubt it would accomplish a single thing. So I'm going to try and grab at another thread because I do seem to be keyed into producing volume at the moment.
Allow me to apologize in advance if a sort of odd psychosis grips me in about a week. Baseball season, you see. I haven't played the sport in fucking years because apparently once you're out of high school you're supposed to want to play goddamn softball instead. Grr... But this is looking to be a good year to be a baseball fan in this city. And yes I'm aware of how many times that's been uttered idly here and been proven false. Oh, you didn't point that out at all, did you? Because you're not like me and not really into this and are pretty much just seeing where this line of thought goes (should I even be that fortunate)?
Right then.
I've run out of things to say, due to the late hour and a headache that won't shut up and also perhaps some rust from a weekend without. More later
3.22.2007
here is a feature we will call Pat is Pissed, should it occur again
Boyfriends don't like me.
At first it was something that just popped up every once in a while. By now I've accepted it as a solid fact. Female friends of mine will ultimately find themselves dating some guy who thinks that they're cheating on them with me. This latest episode had the added absurdity that it took place in Chicago, where I haven't been in going on two years. And it affected a silence between myself and one of my favorite people in the world. She didn't want him to be looking over her shoulder. I'm relieved to say that the silence has broken and a pink slip has been issued
He was annoyed when he found out that she was reading something I referred her to and that she found it hilarious
He deleted my fucking number from her phone
He tried to set me up with a girl he'd fucked a while back so that I wouldn't try and steal his girl. He said that he was just giving me the screen name of someone he thought I'd get along with based on what my friend had told him about me. I later found out that she never knew he was introducing me to anyone and all she'd said about me was that I was into theater and she wasn't trying to figure out a way to fuck me in secret. I haven't told the girl I was introduced to yet. I'm wondering if I even should.
I understand full well that I'm not the one worst hurt here. I can only imagine what my friends feel when they get put through this sort of thing. Given that it can grip me with a formidable rage for extended periods of time I can't say I would recommend the experience. Let there be no confusion; the vast majority of my desire to rearrange this guy comes from the fact that he treated one of my best friends like shit. The offenses that involve me specifically are but a fraction of the rage. But even that much is unhealthy to have pointed your way.
I may have reached a conclusion about all of this. The number of guys who have felt threatened by me easily exceeds the number of girls who I have known to be attracted to me. I'm wondering if the reason they think I'm so likely to steal their girlfriends away is because they in fact harbor a secret attraction to me. Maybe it just so happens that girls I know have the same taste in friends as the guys they tend to date do in secret crushes. Stranger things have been proven true.
This is not vanity on my part-- It means that I attract far more people I don't want to attract than I do and that sucks-- though I suppose I couldn't fault one for interpreting it as such.
So basically if it looks like the post below was written in a pissy mood you know about half of the reason. I'm not even sure if I'm going to say anything about the rest of it. Something in the works whose impetus was in fact both reasons may surface however. I'll let you know
Also, the people who see the people they know not as friends but as assets with potential value to be tapped when needed should only be allowed to associate with each other. This is the humane version of my assessment.
At first it was something that just popped up every once in a while. By now I've accepted it as a solid fact. Female friends of mine will ultimately find themselves dating some guy who thinks that they're cheating on them with me. This latest episode had the added absurdity that it took place in Chicago, where I haven't been in going on two years. And it affected a silence between myself and one of my favorite people in the world. She didn't want him to be looking over her shoulder. I'm relieved to say that the silence has broken and a pink slip has been issued
He was annoyed when he found out that she was reading something I referred her to and that she found it hilarious
He deleted my fucking number from her phone
He tried to set me up with a girl he'd fucked a while back so that I wouldn't try and steal his girl. He said that he was just giving me the screen name of someone he thought I'd get along with based on what my friend had told him about me. I later found out that she never knew he was introducing me to anyone and all she'd said about me was that I was into theater and she wasn't trying to figure out a way to fuck me in secret. I haven't told the girl I was introduced to yet. I'm wondering if I even should.
I understand full well that I'm not the one worst hurt here. I can only imagine what my friends feel when they get put through this sort of thing. Given that it can grip me with a formidable rage for extended periods of time I can't say I would recommend the experience. Let there be no confusion; the vast majority of my desire to rearrange this guy comes from the fact that he treated one of my best friends like shit. The offenses that involve me specifically are but a fraction of the rage. But even that much is unhealthy to have pointed your way.
I may have reached a conclusion about all of this. The number of guys who have felt threatened by me easily exceeds the number of girls who I have known to be attracted to me. I'm wondering if the reason they think I'm so likely to steal their girlfriends away is because they in fact harbor a secret attraction to me. Maybe it just so happens that girls I know have the same taste in friends as the guys they tend to date do in secret crushes. Stranger things have been proven true.
This is not vanity on my part-- It means that I attract far more people I don't want to attract than I do and that sucks-- though I suppose I couldn't fault one for interpreting it as such.
So basically if it looks like the post below was written in a pissy mood you know about half of the reason. I'm not even sure if I'm going to say anything about the rest of it. Something in the works whose impetus was in fact both reasons may surface however. I'll let you know
Also, the people who see the people they know not as friends but as assets with potential value to be tapped when needed should only be allowed to associate with each other. This is the humane version of my assessment.
3.20.2007
Back up your Birth Control... yes I'm a couple of hours late
Plan B
Contraceptive, not abortifacient.
Funny story though. Women who dispensed abortifacients as the Catholic Church took control of Europe were classified as witches and often burnt at the stake.
Oh wait. That's not a funny story at all.
But it's a damned good example of why we should know better than to let the religious interests even be heard on this issue. Yes yes, they have freedom of speech, but the rest of the nation needs to exercise its freedom to not give a flying fuck what they think.
Cooper has all the facts about EC listed in her post along with relevant links, in the extremely unlikely case that you haven't read it already. The cliff notes is that it works and it's safe. There isn't a fucking reason why it shouldn't be readily and universally available. There's no reason every woman-- and every man for that matter-- who has ever thought of having sex shouldn't know about it. There's no reason this should be a matter of fucking debate. Just like there's no reason that the HPV vaccine should have been a matter of debate.
Ladies, I implore you. If you like to fuck and don't want a baby, have some of this in stock. Dudes, if you're likely to entertain such a lady at your place, it wouldn't be the worst idea to have a dose or so. Don't overdo it though. One dose means you're prepared. A drawer full means you're a manwhore.
But the social conservatives in this country aren't really concerned with looking at this in any rational way. This, much like stem cell research, is a matter of drawing a line in the sand so that they can remain within striking their ultimate goal: banning abortion. Rape victims? Teenage pregnancy? Collateral damage to them. Or that's what it must be.
There has been no known effective way to pierce the armor of a Soldier of Christ. When the Holy Spirit takes control of him no force can move him from his stance, no matter what arguments it is assailed with. Demonstrate from all angles and with seamless logic that he is wrong and he will quote the Bible. Nothing short of the Word Of God will persuade him. It is difficult to discern what role he will play in the twenty-first century.
And not all of the people who clearly know better are helping either. Despite promising to support the use of Plan B, Mitt Romney--who I knew as the Ken doll Mormon douchebag governor until recently, and you may know as a presidential candidate-- went back on his promise citing a different promise not to alter Massachusetts abortion law. This had absolutely nothing to do with a campaign to rebrand himself as a values conservative.
Politics impeding sexual health issues? Say it ain't so.
Contraceptive, not abortifacient.
Funny story though. Women who dispensed abortifacients as the Catholic Church took control of Europe were classified as witches and often burnt at the stake.
Oh wait. That's not a funny story at all.
But it's a damned good example of why we should know better than to let the religious interests even be heard on this issue. Yes yes, they have freedom of speech, but the rest of the nation needs to exercise its freedom to not give a flying fuck what they think.
Cooper has all the facts about EC listed in her post along with relevant links, in the extremely unlikely case that you haven't read it already. The cliff notes is that it works and it's safe. There isn't a fucking reason why it shouldn't be readily and universally available. There's no reason every woman-- and every man for that matter-- who has ever thought of having sex shouldn't know about it. There's no reason this should be a matter of fucking debate. Just like there's no reason that the HPV vaccine should have been a matter of debate.
Ladies, I implore you. If you like to fuck and don't want a baby, have some of this in stock. Dudes, if you're likely to entertain such a lady at your place, it wouldn't be the worst idea to have a dose or so. Don't overdo it though. One dose means you're prepared. A drawer full means you're a manwhore.
But the social conservatives in this country aren't really concerned with looking at this in any rational way. This, much like stem cell research, is a matter of drawing a line in the sand so that they can remain within striking their ultimate goal: banning abortion. Rape victims? Teenage pregnancy? Collateral damage to them. Or that's what it must be.
There has been no known effective way to pierce the armor of a Soldier of Christ. When the Holy Spirit takes control of him no force can move him from his stance, no matter what arguments it is assailed with. Demonstrate from all angles and with seamless logic that he is wrong and he will quote the Bible. Nothing short of the Word Of God will persuade him. It is difficult to discern what role he will play in the twenty-first century.
And not all of the people who clearly know better are helping either. Despite promising to support the use of Plan B, Mitt Romney--who I knew as the Ken doll Mormon douchebag governor until recently, and you may know as a presidential candidate-- went back on his promise citing a different promise not to alter Massachusetts abortion law. This had absolutely nothing to do with a campaign to rebrand himself as a values conservative.
Politics impeding sexual health issues? Say it ain't so.
3.19.2007
Empathyzing with Tantalus and other things. Actually, only other things.
Wet naps
Toilet paper
Winnie the Pooh in a hamster outfit
Gonzo the Great
And a bunch of cds.
A bored friend of mine felt the need to call me and tell me what was in his girlfriend's car. As effiguration can only stave off boredom for so long he asked that I entertain him as he waited for her to get off work.
Sometimes you just roll with it. And being myself no rank amateur at oddity, I have little place to raise objection. As it happened I was playing the guitar when he called, so I pulled the phone over to where I'd left my guitar and amp and just as I was getting ready to play he said he had to go as his girlfriend had just gotten out and hey did I want to go grab lunch.
I was there when they met, and actually now that I think of it he wouldn't have gone out to that Bickford's in the middle of the night if I hadn't gone with him so I'm at least somewhat responsible for them having met. That was four months ago and this is the first time since then that I've seen them.
Odd the way things go
Fun times
Actually now that I think of it I think I've been without my good friend for about as long as I've been without my favorite Bohemian, who is now back with more of her Youtubey goodness.
I haven't been on this much lately either. And it's not for lack of time or desire. I'm just having severe writer's block. Which sucks. The two things I do that I consider meaningful are writing and theater, and I'm not really doing either at the moment. I get the feeling that I'm slipping... that I used to be better than this. I want to be something with a bit more depth or significance than "I saw 300 and it's freaking amazing" but nothing seems to escape me.
Troubling.
Yeah I've got nothing else for now.
Toilet paper
Winnie the Pooh in a hamster outfit
Gonzo the Great
And a bunch of cds.
A bored friend of mine felt the need to call me and tell me what was in his girlfriend's car. As effiguration can only stave off boredom for so long he asked that I entertain him as he waited for her to get off work.
Sometimes you just roll with it. And being myself no rank amateur at oddity, I have little place to raise objection. As it happened I was playing the guitar when he called, so I pulled the phone over to where I'd left my guitar and amp and just as I was getting ready to play he said he had to go as his girlfriend had just gotten out and hey did I want to go grab lunch.
I was there when they met, and actually now that I think of it he wouldn't have gone out to that Bickford's in the middle of the night if I hadn't gone with him so I'm at least somewhat responsible for them having met. That was four months ago and this is the first time since then that I've seen them.
Odd the way things go
Fun times
Actually now that I think of it I think I've been without my good friend for about as long as I've been without my favorite Bohemian, who is now back with more of her Youtubey goodness.
I haven't been on this much lately either. And it's not for lack of time or desire. I'm just having severe writer's block. Which sucks. The two things I do that I consider meaningful are writing and theater, and I'm not really doing either at the moment. I get the feeling that I'm slipping... that I used to be better than this. I want to be something with a bit more depth or significance than "I saw 300 and it's freaking amazing" but nothing seems to escape me.
Troubling.
Yeah I've got nothing else for now.
3.13.2007
Oops...
When consulting the recipe below for tonight's dinner I noticed an omission. That being, 3/4 cup of brown sugar. I'm amending it now, and hope no one has attempted it yet.
All for now
All for now
3.12.2007
Have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight?
Notoriously difficult question. And one so rarely has the proper time to formulate a proper answer to it.
Anyone who, in the pale moonlight, would present him or herself as the Devil must be called into question. I can't imagine the Devil would present itself as such openly and notoriously to someone who isn't a blues musician looking for mastery. Then again I can see how an individual might be so savvy as to warrant the lack of subterfuge. Does the Devil always lead, I wonder? Perhaps sometimes he follows to put one at ease. Part of the disguise.
I myself have danced with one who was introduced as the devil but wasn't. Possibly some who were really the devil in disguise.
Actually a couple of times with persons bearing the name Lucifer. I shit you not. Whether or not bearing that name makes one The Devil is hardly clear cut though
So the question is in doubt. I do know what Jack Nickelson said when he was asked this question by a fan who happened to be at the urinal next to him.
"I have now, baby."
It is not meet for you or I to question the wisdom of Jack
Anyone who, in the pale moonlight, would present him or herself as the Devil must be called into question. I can't imagine the Devil would present itself as such openly and notoriously to someone who isn't a blues musician looking for mastery. Then again I can see how an individual might be so savvy as to warrant the lack of subterfuge. Does the Devil always lead, I wonder? Perhaps sometimes he follows to put one at ease. Part of the disguise.
I myself have danced with one who was introduced as the devil but wasn't. Possibly some who were really the devil in disguise.
Actually a couple of times with persons bearing the name Lucifer. I shit you not. Whether or not bearing that name makes one The Devil is hardly clear cut though
So the question is in doubt. I do know what Jack Nickelson said when he was asked this question by a fan who happened to be at the urinal next to him.
"I have now, baby."
It is not meet for you or I to question the wisdom of Jack
3.06.2007
Convoluted Cooking with the Wombat
okokokokokokokokok
so last night I came up with a pretty decent recipe that I hacked together from other recipes. (No I could not just follow the directions I found why the hell would I do that?) The dish in question is Orange Chicken, which I've gotten the hang of out of the bottle. The other night I decided to try my hand at making the sauce, and the result was pretty damned fine. In other words, worth sharing IMHO.
Obviously, you're going to start with Boneless Skinless Chicken. For the intents and purposes of this posting, we will say four pounds of it. Most recipes you find will say two pounds. I say fuck that noise. But then again I made enough for a family of five to eat their fill. Two of the five have run marathons. Two others of the five stand at over six feet three inches tall. The other one? yeah, he's a slacker, but I've made my point. Anyways, you want to have leftovers of this stuff. It keeps extremely well, and is good cold or reheated.
The chicken is to be cut into bite sized pieces. I leave it to anyone reading this, and moreover, anyone willing to take my word as to what makes for good food and would actually use it, to decide what that means
Break 2 Eggs into a large bowl. I use jumbo eggs, but I'm not entirely certain you'd be shooting yourself in the foot by using large. anything smaller than that though and I'd suggest using more. Beat them, hit them with some salt, white pepper (black pepper is forgivable), and sesame oil, mix with 1/2 cup flour and 1 cup Corn Starch. Coat the chicken with this mixture and pan fry in peanut oil (or failing that any cooking oil).
The process of coating the chicken is extremely nasty.
I'm Sorry.
but you haven't done that yet, because what you did first was make the sauce. In no particular order, 5 tablespoons Soy Sauce, 5 tablespoons cider vinegar, and 1/2 cup lemon juice are the constant liquid ingredients. I sort of deviated from any sort of logic with the rest. I could tell you that I added 3 1/4 cups of Orange Juice, but that's not what I did, because I didn't have any plain orange juice at hand. What I had were Tropicana Pinapple Orange, and Dole Orange Peach Mango. I also had some canned pineapple chunks (see below), and some clementines (also see below). I added 3 1/4 cups of a liquid that contained unmeasured amounts of the two juices, the juice from the clementines, and the syrup from the pineapple chunks. Orange juice, or any juice with orange as the base (excepting anything containing banana) can be used here. Pour all liquids in a saucepan and boil on medium high heat, adding to the mix some grated zest of orange (approx. 1 1/2 tablespoons is my recommendation. I actually used clemintines out of preference but if you have oranges use oranges), 1 teaspoon minced ginger root, 1 teaspoon minced garlic, and a small amount of red pepper flakes. Boil that stuff up for a while before adding 3/4 cup packed brown sugar, and after a short while later a paste made up of 6 tablespoons cornstarch and 1/4 cup water or fruit juice (pref. pineapple or orange, but not to be confused with syrup from canned pineapple).
You may notice that the ingredients exceed the capacity of a single fry pan. When I cook this the kitchen becomes overwhelmed with pots and pans and implements of destruction, with all four burners occupied and any vegetable side dish doomed to reside in the microwave or wait until my machinations are complete. A saner person than I might use a single pan and do things in installments. In any case, each pan should receive a modest coating of whatever cooking oil you've been using, minced garlic, and minced ginger. Stir fry this until the aroma starts doing its thing, and then add some chopped green onions to the mix. not a hell of a lot, just enough to get a flavor going. continue this for a minute or so, then hit it with the sauce and let it simmer before adding the chicken. At this point I also add pineapple chunks and Clementine slices (mandarin oranges also work), and from time to time, cashews. Stir fry this mixture until the chicken is well coated.
The next time I cook this up I'm going to have the sauce done ahead of time to save trouble. It's alright when I'm alone to just jump into it all but when there are onlookers asking why exactly I haven't cooked the chicken yet it's better to simply avoid the whole mess. Of course it's likely more convenient as well.
Fuck. Now I'm hungry and the leftovers are gone.
More writings of matters not concerning food will appear here in not too long. If any among you finds any of this the least bit interesting I'll make this a feature. Not a regular feature, mind, but more of a "whenever I manage to pull something off with my own stamp" basis.
so last night I came up with a pretty decent recipe that I hacked together from other recipes. (No I could not just follow the directions I found why the hell would I do that?) The dish in question is Orange Chicken, which I've gotten the hang of out of the bottle. The other night I decided to try my hand at making the sauce, and the result was pretty damned fine. In other words, worth sharing IMHO.
Obviously, you're going to start with Boneless Skinless Chicken. For the intents and purposes of this posting, we will say four pounds of it. Most recipes you find will say two pounds. I say fuck that noise. But then again I made enough for a family of five to eat their fill. Two of the five have run marathons. Two others of the five stand at over six feet three inches tall. The other one? yeah, he's a slacker, but I've made my point. Anyways, you want to have leftovers of this stuff. It keeps extremely well, and is good cold or reheated.
The chicken is to be cut into bite sized pieces. I leave it to anyone reading this, and moreover, anyone willing to take my word as to what makes for good food and would actually use it, to decide what that means
Break 2 Eggs into a large bowl. I use jumbo eggs, but I'm not entirely certain you'd be shooting yourself in the foot by using large. anything smaller than that though and I'd suggest using more. Beat them, hit them with some salt, white pepper (black pepper is forgivable), and sesame oil, mix with 1/2 cup flour and 1 cup Corn Starch. Coat the chicken with this mixture and pan fry in peanut oil (or failing that any cooking oil).
The process of coating the chicken is extremely nasty.
I'm Sorry.
but you haven't done that yet, because what you did first was make the sauce. In no particular order, 5 tablespoons Soy Sauce, 5 tablespoons cider vinegar, and 1/2 cup lemon juice are the constant liquid ingredients. I sort of deviated from any sort of logic with the rest. I could tell you that I added 3 1/4 cups of Orange Juice, but that's not what I did, because I didn't have any plain orange juice at hand. What I had were Tropicana Pinapple Orange, and Dole Orange Peach Mango. I also had some canned pineapple chunks (see below), and some clementines (also see below). I added 3 1/4 cups of a liquid that contained unmeasured amounts of the two juices, the juice from the clementines, and the syrup from the pineapple chunks. Orange juice, or any juice with orange as the base (excepting anything containing banana) can be used here. Pour all liquids in a saucepan and boil on medium high heat, adding to the mix some grated zest of orange (approx. 1 1/2 tablespoons is my recommendation. I actually used clemintines out of preference but if you have oranges use oranges), 1 teaspoon minced ginger root, 1 teaspoon minced garlic, and a small amount of red pepper flakes. Boil that stuff up for a while before adding 3/4 cup packed brown sugar, and after a short while later a paste made up of 6 tablespoons cornstarch and 1/4 cup water or fruit juice (pref. pineapple or orange, but not to be confused with syrup from canned pineapple).
You may notice that the ingredients exceed the capacity of a single fry pan. When I cook this the kitchen becomes overwhelmed with pots and pans and implements of destruction, with all four burners occupied and any vegetable side dish doomed to reside in the microwave or wait until my machinations are complete. A saner person than I might use a single pan and do things in installments. In any case, each pan should receive a modest coating of whatever cooking oil you've been using, minced garlic, and minced ginger. Stir fry this until the aroma starts doing its thing, and then add some chopped green onions to the mix. not a hell of a lot, just enough to get a flavor going. continue this for a minute or so, then hit it with the sauce and let it simmer before adding the chicken. At this point I also add pineapple chunks and Clementine slices (mandarin oranges also work), and from time to time, cashews. Stir fry this mixture until the chicken is well coated.
The next time I cook this up I'm going to have the sauce done ahead of time to save trouble. It's alright when I'm alone to just jump into it all but when there are onlookers asking why exactly I haven't cooked the chicken yet it's better to simply avoid the whole mess. Of course it's likely more convenient as well.
Fuck. Now I'm hungry and the leftovers are gone.
More writings of matters not concerning food will appear here in not too long. If any among you finds any of this the least bit interesting I'll make this a feature. Not a regular feature, mind, but more of a "whenever I manage to pull something off with my own stamp" basis.
3.05.2007
RIP, Kevin Kynock
I've gone dark for a week and for that I apologize. I've been working off of a shared computer, and the desire to blog has seldom been coupled with the ability to. And last night I couldn't find the words. There are other things that I'm going to write about, but this comes first.
One of the greatest educators who ever taught me passed away yesterday morning. It was under his tutelage that I learned a great deal of what I know about theater. He was the director for the Dramatics Society at my high school, and the teacher of the nine-member (of which I was one) class that ran the society along with him and Chip, the other great mentor of mine who I've made note of in this space.
I hadn't seen him since I left high school. Circumstances didn't favor it. He'd retired by the time I got to visit, due to the medical problems that undoubtedly led to his death. And though he did attain some stability of health, he'd disappeared. The closest thing to contact I had with him was when Chip told him about my performance in the last play I acted in.
I myself am not qualified to relate what exactly has been lost in the passing of Kevin Kynock. We referred to him as TGO, short for The Great One. I never was sure as to whether or not he knew of the epithet, but behind his back it was used universally. I would lean towards no. Of all people I've met he was the least egotistical. Such that he used one of my ideas for the ending of the first play he cast me in. For forty years he built a legacy of theater education that I doubt will ever be equaled. His knowledge of theater, particularly Shakespearian (he once worked with the Royal Shakespeare Company) was astounding, and he shared it well. Any attempt to estimate the number of students who learned under him on my part could not be reliable, but he was running the theater there when my father was a student at BC High.
We all knew that this wasn't too far off, but none of us were ready for it.
I know I wasn't
One of the greatest educators who ever taught me passed away yesterday morning. It was under his tutelage that I learned a great deal of what I know about theater. He was the director for the Dramatics Society at my high school, and the teacher of the nine-member (of which I was one) class that ran the society along with him and Chip, the other great mentor of mine who I've made note of in this space.
I hadn't seen him since I left high school. Circumstances didn't favor it. He'd retired by the time I got to visit, due to the medical problems that undoubtedly led to his death. And though he did attain some stability of health, he'd disappeared. The closest thing to contact I had with him was when Chip told him about my performance in the last play I acted in.
I myself am not qualified to relate what exactly has been lost in the passing of Kevin Kynock. We referred to him as TGO, short for The Great One. I never was sure as to whether or not he knew of the epithet, but behind his back it was used universally. I would lean towards no. Of all people I've met he was the least egotistical. Such that he used one of my ideas for the ending of the first play he cast me in. For forty years he built a legacy of theater education that I doubt will ever be equaled. His knowledge of theater, particularly Shakespearian (he once worked with the Royal Shakespeare Company) was astounding, and he shared it well. Any attempt to estimate the number of students who learned under him on my part could not be reliable, but he was running the theater there when my father was a student at BC High.
We all knew that this wasn't too far off, but none of us were ready for it.
I know I wasn't
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