12.28.2006

This prolonged silence is being interrupted with a brief update from our invalid writer

Son of a BITCH

I'd gotten well in time for the family Christmas party which is also my cousin's birthday party (more on that later)

only to wake up all fevering and shivering like I was in the grips of a serious jones.

Not cool.

Today, I beat the fever, only to encounter supremely annoying pain when I swallow or talk, or spit, which I have to do a hell of a lot now because my saliva glands are working overtime. What they're looking to accomplish is beyond me.

So I get a look at the back of my mouth in the mirror, and to the left of my uvula what do I see but three sores that are either extremely oddly placed cankers or possible symptom of acute tonsilitis. To attempt to compete with Mizzy B's gross-out I tried to photograph but I couldn't get the shot

GREAT THUNDERING FUCK

I have to wait until tomorrow to get a diagnosis so next on the agenda is finding a way to sleep through this shit. And to get life-sustaining matter into me in a way that doesn't completely suck

But enough of that. There is, in fact, a funny story. It all started a year and three days ago, and last year's incarnation of the abovementioned gathering. My cousin had just broken up with her boyfriend. She asked me if I knew a certain dude. It was someone I went to high school with, who was now her (ex) boyfriend's roommate. Said ex did show up at the party, with a girl I could only presume to be a rebound due to her total lack of ability to keep up with the conversation, her annoying personality, and, from where I was standing, total lack of sex appeal. The entire party quickly developed contempt for her.

This year, my cousin asked me what I thought of that same guy as a person; if he was a sensible sort of dude. The reason for the question? He was dating the rebound girl. I found out later that the guy and the girl were both sighted at a party within my social circle but for whatever reason I did not attend. So I got to tell people who were at the party the story, and there was laughter and merriment.

As for now, however, there will be liquid consumption and sleep with-a-box-of-tissues-and-a-grocery-bag-next-to-my-head as I try and sort this shit out

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

10 comments:

  1. oh gah. i'm so sorry you still feel sucky, kittentits (ahem, i clicked on the link you gave me.) i hope you feel better. look on the bright side, sugarpie (yes, still courtesy of the link), at least you didn't get coal in your stocking. or did you? just joshing, of course. xx.

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  2. sounds like strep or tonsilitis. if you have a fever, i'd say it's likely strep. can i recommend something? this honestly works. i'm serious! get apple cider vinnegar. mix about two tablespoons of the vinnegar with half a cup of water, and gargle with it a few times every hour. swallow a bit every time to make sure it gets to your lower throat. this will honestly help clear it up. don't use regular vinnegar. it must be apple cider! :)

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  3. p.s. this is not only good for strep, but ANY throat or mouth problem/sore/infection.

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  4. cooper9:44 PM

    Oh wombat, I'm sorry you are sick. It does sound like strep throat and I hope they put you on some penicillin type drugs asap.

    sleep and drink plenty of fluid.

    hugs to you wombat.

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  5. {illyria}: It's surprising how often that device works. No, no coal in the stocking. Santa know's I'd just re-gift it.

    Vesper: Yup. Acute tonsilitis is what I self-diagnosed, and if I'd known that having a doctor confirm that would get me nothing, then I'd not have bothered. Thanks for the tip. If I can manage to get my hands on some apple cider vinegar I'll be sure to give it a try.

    Cooper: Nope. No strep. And I knew that before I even got in there. I've had it before and it feels a lot different. No drugs, nothing but telling me to drink fluids

    hugs to you, too.

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  6. Oh how I have been there and so done that and it is beyond awful! Yoga (because of the cleansing and healing breath which totally prevents me from getting sick) and Loverboy's concoction tend to do the trick for me and yes, do drink those fluids!

    Hoping you get better asap so that you can ring the new year in without feeling miserable! Besos!

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  7. Vitamins, fluids, sleep, positive thoughts: hope you're feeling better soon.

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  8. Thanks for not doing a Boho gross out. I had thought of videoing my dental work but the thought made me violently ill.

    Feel better Wombat--keep chugging liquids--don't you love when I was sick stories? When I...I drank more water and juice than I thought humanly possible--and that and much sleep did it

    Your writing is superb even when you're so sick

    Hope you're better before the year ends

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  9. cut off head. remove sores. while there, reach in and remove bad memories, worrisome fears and other swill. run around neighborhood headless scaring the beejeezus out of all those who need it while head dries safely in sink....come back, reposition head so that it better serves you. (it's rarely on correctly the first time)
    go back to couch/bed/girl's lap and rest.

    hope you are feeling better. may your health return posthaste

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  10. happy new year!!!

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