Son of a BITCH
I'd gotten well in time for the family Christmas party which is also my cousin's birthday party (more on that later)
only to wake up all fevering and shivering like I was in the grips of a serious jones.
Today, I beat the fever, only to encounter supremely annoying pain when I swallow or talk, or spit, which I have to do a hell of a lot now because my saliva glands are working overtime. What they're looking to accomplish is beyond me.
So I get a look at the back of my mouth in the mirror, and to the left of my uvula what do I see but three sores that are either extremely oddly placed cankers or possible symptom of acute tonsilitis. To attempt to compete with Mizzy B's gross-out I tried to photograph but I couldn't get the shot
GREAT THUNDERING FUCK
I have to wait until tomorrow to get a diagnosis so next on the agenda is finding a way to sleep through this shit. And to get life-sustaining matter into me in a way that doesn't completely suck
But enough of that. There is, in fact, a funny story. It all started a year and three days ago, and last year's incarnation of the abovementioned gathering. My cousin had just broken up with her boyfriend. She asked me if I knew a certain dude. It was someone I went to high school with, who was now her (ex) boyfriend's roommate. Said ex did show up at the party, with a girl I could only presume to be a rebound due to her total lack of ability to keep up with the conversation, her annoying personality, and, from where I was standing, total lack of sex appeal. The entire party quickly developed contempt for her.
This year, my cousin asked me what I thought of that same guy as a person; if he was a sensible sort of dude. The reason for the question? He was dating the rebound girl. I found out later that the guy and the girl were both sighted at a party within my social circle but for whatever reason I did not attend. So I got to tell people who were at the party the story, and there was laughter and merriment.
As for now, however, there will be liquid consumption and sleep with-a-box-of-tissues-and-a-grocery-bag-next-to-my-head as I try and sort this shit out
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck