The other night my brother left the house, saying he was going for "a walk."

Five hours later, the phone rang. I looked at the caller ID, it said Winchester Hospital, which is some seven miles from my house.

I snatched up the phone.

"Hey Pat... I'm lost."

"Are you ok?"


"Are you ok"

"Yeah, why?"

"You called from a fucking hospital"

"oh right. my bad. could you google for directions?"

I pride myself in being nuts, but sometimes given the company I keep it's hard for me to shine in that area.

As a follow-up to the previous tale, one of the ladies I was out with apologized for the evening. Not the one who had something to apologize for, mind.

At the suggestion of Miz B, who has posted three more youtube videos so WATCH, I've been watching Green Wing, and once again I'm impressed by a British sitcom.

Apparently a website called DeeperRight wants me to let them add my link. Not quite sure how they came by that desire, as I make frequent mention that the most vociferous among them are insufferable twats. Either they're mistaken or they want to send trolls my way. I did notice that one of their members was someone I'd gotten into arguments with before. Back when the Democrats were considering filibuster as a means of forestalling the appointment of a prospective Supreme Court Justice who had no fucking qualifications, he called them hypocrites because they opposed such use of filibuster by Republicans during the Clinton years. I confronted him with the fact that their current opposition to the use of filibuster makes the GOP just as hypocritical, and he accused me of turning a blind eye to hypocrisy

Because apparently it's some leap to say that it's damned near impossible to be successful in politics without being a fucking hypocrite.

Oh right. I've been tagged by Cooper for that "blogging advice" meme. Seeing as her blogging advice was to ignore blogging advice, I have to suspect her motives in tagging me and only me of course.

as far as style goes, it's all I can say that I just don't fucking get some of the newer templates. I would shy away from the ones that organize information as if one were putting it in a closet. Double sidebars on one side, bottom bars containing that which would fill two whole sidebars... unholy combinations of the two... It's all shit. Oddly enough the bottom bars are used by the people who shout "content is king," even though it restricts the amount of content one can put on the front page. Baffling. Apart from that, they're ugly as hell. The only aesthetically competent use of them belongs to achewood, the site design of which invites me to ignore them entirely rather than cringe in pain at them.

This is the bit that Cooper would say to ignore =P

Though anyone who styles themselves as an expert in blogging is suspect if not easily dismissable.

As for content, all I have to say is that the best way to keep your blog interesting is to go out and have weird things happen to you. I believe the blogodrome's resident Zenformation Professional will agree to this. Also observe weird things, or go and do weird things and observe people's reactions. Talk to the people you meet on the subway who seem to be rambing at an invisible person slightly to your left. Debate the streetcorner preachers and the lobotomized cultists trying to raise support for Lyndon fucking Larouche. Shout at the Scientologists. Do all of this, and document your results. (was it awesome? y/n) Failing all of that, find things on the Internet that you disagree vehemently or extraordinarily with (there is in fact a distinction).

My actual writing methods are the product of a severely strange mind and therefore cannot be recommended to anyone. They are fueled by insomnia and caffeine, and any number of other variables that I'll not discuss in writing.

Though I will say that it's always fun to use crass language alongside intellectual language, as it will confound the weak-minded of all stripes. I reject entirely that use of profanity be viewed as a failure of vocabulary. Given, there are those who use it excessively in place of vocabulary, but it's easy to separate the loudmouth teenagers from the Penn Jilettes. That's right, just about every English teacher I've had. Fuck you. You're WRONG.

Why does Penn Jilette immediately come to mind? I've been watching a lot of Penn and Teller on Youtube; both their magic act and Bullshit. Those guys are fucking brilliant, and if they were running for President and VP I'd vote their way in a second. And not because of their act. But could you imagine the inaugural address?


  1. Your feed was messed up but it seems to be working now. I must stop reading you via my reader, but alas...the red...hurts my eyes.

    As I am rather fond of my bottom sidebar, as fugly as you think it is, I am speechless. ;)

    I have been keeping up with mizzy b. I love her videos but i miss her words most of all.

    You give good meme too, that makes a couple of us.

  2. hmm... that's strange coming from the only person who I consulted about the new template before I implemented it ;)

    I adore you and your blog, and as such feel necessary to make notice that it's stepped in something.

    Give good meme... that sounds dirty. I like

  3. Your template was messed up, but then it wasn't

    And you giving blogging advice

    Can never follow a Cooper/Womabat exchange

    People do email to ask where to find the mastication IM--because as we all know my archives are a mess--bad blogging

    Loved the story about your brother. It's so Wombat family

  4. So what happened with your brother in the end? Did no one notice that you left us hanging? HANGING I SAY! ;-P Yeah, I am nosey and proud of it DAMMIT!

    YOU SAW GREEN WING!!!!! WOOOOOHOOOO!!!! Isn't it a fucking trip? SO out there and wait... it gets downright nasty with a certain plot twist you will SO know when you get to it but even then, mouth wide open, you will need to watch more... BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

    Yep, trying to get back into it... I just read Cooperina's sweet comment up above and Loverboy, who is sitting next to me, read it too and now he too is on my case for not writing... oy! Got 3 more up and I hope to have something written for the next post with the next vids or else may Loverboy kick me! Damn bastard! I bet he would! Are you reading this too Loverboy? 'Cause I WILL kick back let that be known! ;-P

    And before I keep having an imaginary conversation with Loverboy, who IS next to me but watching reruns of Ellen and SO ignoring me, I'd best scoot along...

    I loved this post amigo mio... quite tangential but that, in my book, is FABOO! So I don't know if coming from me that is a compliment or not! Oy...

    As for Cooperina's template, I quite like it... being buried down under just made me laugh... it is happily dark and morose and the bottom bar, though it normally bothers me too, is a-ok for me there... though I am quite partial to Cooper and so I may be biased, I admit, but she is dreamy FO SHO!

    Ok... I am writing a book now so off I go! Besos and hope you had a faboo weekend!

  5. Pia: They do? wow.

    Miz B: Heh. He made it back about three hours later.

    I've already seen that part. I'm waiting on the finale. I love the aftermath.

    Well, I don't want you to get kicked.

    There's no way you enjoying something of mine can be taken as anything other than a complement here.

    You of course know well that I agree with you about Cooper.

  6. Ok... so I take back the BWAHAHAHAAAA! ;-P I liked that edge that plot twist gave it... I don't think they would tackle such a thing here! Can you imagine?

    Besos to you amigo mio!

  7. Dude, certainly. Just live life, witness weirdness, document it. Blogs are just archives for complete skullfuckery. Might as well enjoy it :)

  8. Miz B: Maybe on a cable show. There's certainly a market for that kind of humor here, it's just a matter of keeping out the assholes who complain about shows they didn't watch.

    Jason: Exactly

  9. I dunno about the double sidebar, bottom sidebar combo, I really don't like pages that are too busy, especially those blinkie things.
    My two cents opinion anyway.

  10. Oh... I thought I was more clear. I friggin hate them.

  11. i was laughing at the sibiling predicament, mostly because it reminds me of the better part of my childhood, and the refusal to listen to and ask for directions.

    you make me miss those days.

  12. "I pride myself in being nuts, but sometimes given the company I keep it's hard for me to shine in that area."

    Lovely :-D

    I loved Green Wing but it didn't seem to be as popular as most of the (how shall I put it) less conventional sitcoms are. When I say popular, you know I don't mean MAINSTREAM popular. In geekier circles. Gosh this comment is content-lite.

    Brit Sit Coms rock. The ones that don't want to be Friends, that is. It's tragic that the money and prime time advertising goes into pale and pathetic and horrible attempts to recreate the American sitcom. There are good american sitcoms, but why does the world need two countries producing american sitcoms when there ...

    i'm losing it, the red mist's coming down.

    Best British Sit Coms in recent years: Spaced, Father Ted (Ireland IS in Britain when we want it to be) and Mighty Boosh (which IS a sitcom when I want it to be).

    Time for my nap.