As I mentioned before, today is Mitch Hedburg Day; a 'net holiday dedicated to quoting Mitch. However, I quote Mitch a lot on a day to day basis. So instead I decided to do an audio post in my Mitch Hedburg impersonation. Didn't quite turn out how I hoped but maybe you'll like it.
I may just add quotes to this as the night goes on.
I have long hair, and see, people associate long hair with drug use. I wish long hair was associated with something other than drug use, like 'an extreme longing for cake'. People would see a guy with long hair and say "damn, that fucker eats cake, he's on bundt cake". Mothers telling their daughters "don't bring the cake-eater over here anymore, he smells like flour. Did you notice how his eyes widened when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?
I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said "Please Try Again," because apparently they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong. Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me — "C'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait — Fruit on the bottom, hope on top."
I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.
I asked this guy for directions to the store. He said "Oh, that's just a hop, skip and a jump away." Well... that ain't how I'm getting there. You got any directions for those who are walking?