I may just add quotes to this as the night goes on.
I have long hair, and see, people associate long hair with drug use. I wish long hair was associated with something other than drug use, like 'an extreme longing for cake'. People would see a guy with long hair and say "damn, that fucker eats cake, he's on bundt cake". Mothers telling their daughters "don't bring the cake-eater over here anymore, he smells like flour. Did you notice how his eyes widened when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?
I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said "Please Try Again," because apparently they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong. Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me — "C'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait — Fruit on the bottom, hope on top."
I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.
I asked this guy for directions to the store. He said "Oh, that's just a hop, skip and a jump away." Well... that ain't how I'm getting there. You got any directions for those who are walking?
Loved this post..especially the bit about the map and the 2 corners! Audio post was funny as hell.
ReplyDeleteYou what I really would long hair to mean?
ReplyDeleteCleaner underwear. That woulda been so much cooler than cake-eater or coke-eater.
For some reason I get the feeling these people dont know who Mitch is.
ReplyDeleteI had never heard the long hair one before. love it
Ba Dum Bum! Thank you ladies and gentlemen, Wombat will be here all week! :)
ReplyDeleteNice job on the audio post.
I'm with Samantha, I thought yesterday it would be forty / fifty as to who knew what you were doing.
ReplyDeleteTo think you posted two so close together I never would have figured...
"Every time I go and shave, I assume there is somebody else on the planet shaving as well, so I say "I'm gonna go shave... too."
LOL, the first thing that came to mind ... under pat??? ...lol.
I listened to this with Sublme Santeria playing n the backround...you ought to try it. ;0
Mitch will live forever in my heart.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin used to have long hair. He has very Iranian features and dresses like a hippy (yep, runs in the family... started with an uncle, then I came along and he follows) and looks gyspyish. He went with a friend visiting from Spain over to Mexico, to Tijuana and when they wanted to drive back, they noticed the friend had forgotten his passport, the border patrol did not believe him when he said he was Danish (cause he didn't have his passport either and was trying to get back in with his Driver's License) because of his looks. They thought he was some "Mexican Indian" (their words), arrested him and the friend, threw them in jail, took his car from him (he never got it back) and charged him with trying to cross the border illegally and harboring an illegal alien... when his mom came down with both passports the charges still stood! And all because of the hair!
ReplyDeleteCan you guess my view on this?
And no, that is not the freakiest thing to have happened to him! His life is full of such adventures!
I listened yesterday... and came back a 2nd time... I can't stop laughing...
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