They say that familiarity breeds contempt. Which would explain why they also say silence is golden. Of course, I've often said that it can fuck me up from time to time, but that isn't to say I don't wish for it at times, and even at this late hour there is that particular ambience that painfully resonates between my temples when I have this sort of headache. When I'm in a rut such that I am now I get the idea that the whir of the CPU fan, the hum of the monitor, the moaning of the refrigerator, the clicking of the keyboard and mouse beneath my fingertips, and my own skull are conspiring against me. In truth I probably just didn't drink enough water. I guess I was wary of fluoridation.
I have to point you towards Shayna's post. She may disagree in my assesment, but it only confirms in my mind that she's a hero. It got me thinking. Oftentimes we only find out who we really are when faced with a nightmare. I know I can't be quite certain who I am. Part of me is desperate to find out. Another part fears what it would take to meet me, and fears even more just who the man in the mirror may be after a truly horrible day. There has to be another way, right? If not, then we're faced with the issue quantam physicisists have been dealing with from day one: The outcome is changed in the measurement. So I don't know what to hope for. But I do know what to dread.
It looks like Bush is flexing his Orwellian muscle again. There was a time when I felt satisfaction when things crumbled around Bush. That was back when we weren't stuck with him for another four years. Before it became apparent in the minds of middle Americans that a vote for Kerry was a vote for abortion; for sodomy, and against our troops (despite the fact that he was the one among the two of them who was actually in a war) and I realized what should have been apparent all along, that our country and perhaps our world is overrun with a cruel, vindictive stupidity and ignorance and those willing to fight back are often either ill-supported or ill-armed to deal with it. Before election day when Bush fucked up he failed his constituents. Now he fails the rest of us as well, even those of us who knew the consequences of a second term. Suffice to say, all right minded people of America ought to know that there is shit to do between now and 2006; between now and 2008, and the least we can do is Bring It On.
A side note. Fuck you, South Dakota.
If you can't tell, I surf the net as I blog. That last bit flared up my aformentioned headache. I'ma get some Ibeprophen up ins and call it a night.
All of the doctors in SD had to be flown in from MN anyway.. I love my Mondale-voting state.
ReplyDeleteThanks sweetie... when faced with such demons I think I would do what I did in a heartbeat again. Although, to this day... I still fight with those "demon memories". You never know how you will react until you are faced with a certain situation. I know I'd do anything to protect my family and my friends. :)
ReplyDeleteI am also wary of flouride in my my water.
ReplyDeleteHope the iubuforan made you better those whirring cpu fans can cause hallucinations.
Shayna is truly a hero especially to those of us who have faced very few real demons on our life and whose true caharacters have not been tested.
Hope your better wombatty. and yes Orwellian is the way it is going in Oh Beautiful for Spacious Skies USA.
Fuck you SD indeed! I wrote a post on the whole abortion thing at my place and BIO I am so pissed. I'll shut up or else...
ReplyDeleteGood for Shayna... we need more women with such ovaries on 'em!
Hope you are unstuck soon. Ruts are no good... I am kinda in one too and the grey, rainy weather we are having here in Spain is not helping!
Boho hugs coming your way dear friend!
Dan: I didn't know that physicians were an export. Pitiful.
ReplyDeleteShayna: I can be a vicious person where such matters are concerned I believe its its the only way to be.
Alice: hallucinations? So you weren't there with me the other night while I was blogging? Erm... kindly disregard the email I sent you.
Miz B: Anger is good. only your hatred can destr... oh wait...
Hugs to you as well.