Thought I'd share a story. Not a recent one by any measure, but a true one.
The phone rang in my kitchen. Caller ID tells me its a telemarketer. I pause for a sec and figure out what gag I'm going to use, then pick up the phone. Its a travel agent.
My gag was fucked.
She's offering me an all expenses paid trip to Las Vegas. I love it when an excellent line just falls into my lap.
Me: Fuck that. Vegas just cold gouges my budget. I mean you say all expenses paid, but I know you don't cover all of the necessities
Her: Like what?
Me: Everyone knows that if you go to Vegas you need two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers, downers, screamers, and laughers, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen Amyls. That's just too much money to spend on one trip, you know?
Her: Well would you consider Orlando?