7.01.2005

Because I've been neglecting

Thought I'd share a story. Not a recent one by any measure, but a true one.

The phone rang in my kitchen. Caller ID tells me its a telemarketer. I pause for a sec and figure out what gag I'm going to use, then pick up the phone. Its a travel agent.

My gag was fucked.

She's offering me an all expenses paid trip to Las Vegas. I love it when an excellent line just falls into my lap.

Me: Fuck that. Vegas just cold gouges my budget. I mean you say all expenses paid, but I know you don't cover all of the necessities

Her: Like what?

Me: Everyone knows that if you go to Vegas you need two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multicolored uppers, downers, screamers, and laughers, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen Amyls. That's just too much money to spend on one trip, you know?

Her: Well would you consider Orlando?

19 comments:

  1. That was cute. I'd write more but I'm at work. :(

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  2. this is hilarious. for one, my summer job is as close to being a telemarketer as they come, without actually being a telemarketer. i've been messed with a lot. but i take it in stride, cuz the money is good, and i would do the same. hehe

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  3. that was truly loverly :)

    well done, wombat!

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  4. TAKE THE DAMN TICKETS!! Come to Vegas =D!

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  5. did you watch tonight's game....something has to be done about Foulke. This is just beyond sad.

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  6. Vegas is aching to welcome you.

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