4.06.2005

After a long pause...

So Blogger's been bouncng me. I hope this goes through.

First order of business. Two changes in the Links department. First off, I welcome SuperKate to the linkbar, where she can continue her never-ending battle against mundanity. For the record, I would be linking her even if she hadn't linked me first. Second of all, disCOMbobulated is now operating under a new name, and a new URL; Last Things Last, and www.lastthingslast.com respectively.

So, I had an audition today. I arrived just in the knick of time, and delivered two monologues, including this gem from the BBC sitcom Coupling

Look, I like naked women! I’m a bloke, I’m supposed to like them. We’re born like that. We like naked women the moment we’re pulled out of one. Half way down the birth canal and we’re already enjoying the view! Look, there are four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche. We like naked women, stockings, lesbians, and Sean Connery best as James Bond. Because that is what being a boy is, and if you don’t like it, darling, join a film collective. Look, I want to spend the rest of my life with the woman at the end of this table, but that does not stop me from wanting to see several thousand more naked bottoms before I die. Because that’s what being a guy is. When Man invented fire, he didn’t say “Great, let’s cook!” He said, “Now we can see naked bottoms in the dark!” As soon as we had the printing press we started using it to print pictures of, hey! Naked bottoms. We have turned the internet into an enormous international database of naked bottoms. So you see, the story of man through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms. Thank you girls, I’m not sure how insulted you really ought to be.

It cracked up the people listening to the auditions, but I'm not sure how they liked it. Callbacks are posted Thursday, so I'll find out then. I think that's about it. Catch youse all on the flip side.

11 comments:

  1. well, british comedy, although hilarious, is an acquired taste. so good luck. i hope you get the part. :)

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  2. i'll keep my fingers crossed for you =) i don't know how you do it.. being in front of a crowd gives me deadly nerves. though i've heard the best remedy is to picture everyone in the audience naked. hmm, i wonder who i'd like in MY audience..

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  3. That was fantastic! Now all of the people in the computer lab are looking at my strangely because I broke out into nearly hysterical giggles.

    *Sigh*

    Oooh! And good luck on the part!!!

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  4. Thanks all.

    I've never got in the habit of picturing audiences naked, because when I first started acting it was at an all-male high school and that wouldn't have exactly flown it for me.

    Can I be in your audience Dylann? ;)

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  5. LOL I've only seen one episode of Coupling but I loved it! Gonna have to watch some more.

    Best of luck, EW! (I could call you Patrick now, but I've gotten so used to calling you EW)

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  6. you can only be in my audience if you really are naked.

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  7. Steve: eh, the reason I use that handle is because I like it.

    Dylann: Fine, but in that case I have to be the only one in your audience. I don't show myself to just anyone

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  8. Brit humor is awesome...I will now direct you to this Bloke..

    http://ruksak.blogspot.com/

    One of the best writers on the net!

    Awesome choice for a monologue! Hope you get the call back!

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  9. ha ha ha. I enjoyed that, good luck with the call back pdesm!

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  10. sCruuw: Yeah, I just noticed actually. Thanks a bunch! You even went to the trouble of putting a pic of a Wombat in there. Excellent. I was actually just about to link you and two others. Also, thanks for showing me that blog. Excellent stuff.

    I'd like to introduce you all to my good friend John, who as I did (well, its arguable for both of us, actually) grew up in Malden Massachusetts. Thanks for dropping by.

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