I feel a terrible urge enter Fox Headquarters with a cardboard tube and leave with a battered, bloody one.

Offense the First: Taking Bill Bennett onto Hannity and Colmes and whitewashing him; allowing him to explain how him saying "If you were to abort every black baby, crime would go down," doesn't make him a filthy racist.

Offense the Second: Aside from the usual shitty coverage that Joe Buck and Tim MacCarver give for baseball in general and Sox-Yankees in particular, on two consecutive half-innings with the Red Sox at bat they switched to that goddamned splitscreen with the Sox in the tiny window. I couldn't get my mojo focused, and I'm sure others felt the same. Ridiculous assertation? Perhaps, but there is precisely one thing that I harbor superstition for, and that is baseball. I could be a lot worse.

So yeah. You really don't have to be a liberal to hate Fox. It does help, of course.

I think I'm going to alter my facial hair policy given recent developments from a "three game sweep of the hated swine" mess of scrag to a "lets just get ourselves in there goddammit" formation which my judo grip on the English language enables me to call a HAG, or Half-Assed Goatee.


  1. Wombat; I'm sorry the Yankees beat your Red Sox.

    Fox news - vomit.

    Itchy chins are hell babes.

  2. No harm, it turns out. I still blame Fox

  3. I think you can shave. As a matter of fact, you better shave. It's 0-0 now...everything begins on Tuesday...too bad you're not in Chicago!