5.01.2005

ARGGHH

Both Patrick the playwright and EsotericWombat the blogger are trapped in the depths of an enormous case of writer's block. Patrick the playwright needs a rough draft done by Tuesday and has yet to figure out all of the plot of his piece. EsotericWombat the blogger can't think of anything to say that doesn't involve huge, large-fanged ad hominem attacks directed at that horrid, libellous bitch Ann Coulter.

More later if I can think of anything

8 comments:

  1. Rants about Ann Coulter are always welcome to my ears as she is a skankiferous wench who should be immersed in fire ants whilst having her toenails removed with pointy sticks, getting a molten glass enema, and being shot repeatedly in the spleen. Oooh, and don't forget the full-body waxing (otherwise known as "Italian Velcro").

    Perhaps Patrick the Playwright could involve Ann Coulter torture as part of his plot. I would find such things worthy the highest marks.

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  2. I think that it would be far more fitting (though less extravagant) if she were forced to write a book, and every time she makes an ad hominem attack or commits libel, she gets a shock, a bee sting, a rubbing of poison ivy onto a square inch of her skin, and a rusty needle stuck in her and left there. She'd either have to write without lying and attacking, or endure the pain. She'd be dead by morning.

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  3. Is "ad hominem" your word(s) of the day?

    And I do like your suggestions, but would like to throw in that jellyfish stining cells could also be used in place of poison ivy if one were in the mood for something a bit more exotic.

    I think it would also be nice if she got syphilis. But it wouldn't be so nice to be the one to give it to her.

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  4. nah. I read the guide to logical fallacies a while back.

    my word of the day is one of my own invention. "aronic," which is the word given to describe anything that Alanis Morrisette would call ironic (see the lyrics of the song "Ironic")

    hmmm... I like the way you think. And who says she needs to get syphilis the fun way?

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  5. This is true. But it would be most delightful to catch her in a disease-ridden sex scandal...

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  6. There are much more fiting tortures for that ho-bag. She should be forced to marry an inbred redneck, never be allowed to wear shoes in the hog wollow, and be forced to shoot out his buck toothed children at a rate of three per 2 years. That's right, stretch marks and boobs down to her knees. VICTORY IS MINE!!!

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  7. You have my sympathy at being a playwrite. There is a reason why I am a novelist instead of a playwriter. I tried once. Baaaaaad results. Although I did find a way to use the word "fuck" every five seconds in a way that could be shown to the public and be considered art.

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  8. yeah, I've been getting my fiction on, too hmm... I never permalinked my written works site... I'll have to do that

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